The Sorting
by procrastinatingwriter
Summary: Normal sortings are under a minute. Longer ones are a couple. Who holds the record for the longest sorting?


"Very interesting," the Sorting Hat commented, as he fished through the student's head. "You have ambition, fit for Slytherin indeed. Yet… your thirst for knowledge is remarkable, and Rowena would simply love for someone like you to join her house. However, you are incredibly hard-working, as well as brave. Now there seems to be the problem. Do you have any preferences whatsoever?"

"Er- no. Not really. Whatever house you choose for me will be fine, I'm sure." The student answered.

The Sorting Hat sighed. "No really, I do insist. No preferences at all?" The Sorting Hat let out a weary sigh. "I suppose you really don't care. Which is very impressive, yes, however, I must sort you."

The student shifted. "But aren't you supposed to choose where I go?"

The Sorting Hat straightened slightly. "Yes, and no. Normally students - unlike yourself - already have a house in mind. While there might be two houses that they could go in, students usually already have somewhere they want to go in mind. The song I sing usually brings forward some type of preference based on what a student wants to be thought of, however, in your case, you simply do not care."

The student fidgeted once more. "Does that mean you can't sort me?"

"No- well yes. I can sort you, it just will take a very long time. Or you could choose a house, which would be better for both of us." The Sorting Hat waited.

The student could hear whispering from the hall. They were all wondering what was taking so long. Surely a simple sorting wouldn't take this long… would it? "I guess… well Ravenclaw sounds nice. But so does Slytherin, even if everyone thinks the people there are evil. And Hufflepuff really doesn't sound as bad as people make it out to be, and Gryffindor is nothing to scoff at…"

The Sorting Hat huffed in annoyance. "You're supposed to be prejudiced! Every student who I have sorted is prejudiced, and even if they aren't prejudiced, they all have a preference! What am I supposed to do with someone like you?"

"Er- I'm sorry?"

Dumbledore stood up. "Sorting Hat, is there a problem?" Everyone waited eagerly for the answer. Half the students were feeling bored, and more than a little hungry. The staff, aside from Snape of course, were quite curious on what was taking so long.

The student bit their lip, feeling increasingly nervous. "No problem, other than the fact I'm not sure where to put them…" responded the Sorting Hat.

Snape stood up angrily. "Just sort the brat somewhere! Some of us have more important things to do than sit here all day waiting!"

"It's not that easy Severus!" The Sorting Hat replied sharply.

"Put them in Hufflepuff then!" Snape growled.

"Excuse me?" Professor Sprout interrupted, her tone informing Snape that he better be careful in his reply.

"Shall I place them in your house then?" The Sorting Hat inquired casually, before a fight could break out between two of the professors.

"Fine! I don't care, place the dunderhead somewhere!" Snape roared.

"Have you made a decision yet?" The Sorting Hat asked.

The student felt nervous. It had been a very long time, and although they weren't certain, they felt ten minutes had passed, at the very least. The hall seemed tense and although they couldn't hear the conversation anymore, the student felt like they were waiting. "I still don't know what to choose, sorry."

Snape glared at the student, even though they couldn't see it. "Idiot, choose a house!"

The student frowned. "Which house head is he again?"

"Slytherin," the Sorting Hat replied promptly, his tone amused.

"Right, well that puts a damper on Slytherin, I suppose. Perhaps you should place me in whatever house you think I'll break traditions in."

The Sorting Hat nodded to itself. "Not Gryffindor then. Not Slytherin either, the fellows there would hamper your plans. I'd say Hufflepuff then, as most think of it as the lesser house."

"All right," the student nodded. They had major plans for the Wizarding World, including changes that no one was prepared for. They were determined to be the top student in the school. If Hufflepuff was to be it, then Hufflepuff it is.

"Are you sure? Well if you're sure, better be HUFFLEPUFF!" The Sorting Hat shouted, in the sudden silence of the hall.


End file.
